Oh, How I’ve Failed, Let Me Count the Ways

As I get ready to ramp up my effort on The List, I want to make it clear that I’ve tried stuff throughout my life – lots of stuff. And I’ve failed many times even when I tried hard. Since I’ve failed plenty, I’ve questioned if my endeavors are worth a sometimes exhaustive, spirit-dampering effort….

“Rape of a Goddess” Essay in TheRumpus.net

I considered not sharing my essay on my public spaces, which was published on The Rumpus .net June 4th. It’s a difficult and personal story. However, I think all the stories have to be told now in support of anyone who has experienced assault, and to keep exposing how often this happens. If something has…

I Remember Big Jon

I was a day camper at TeePee Club in West Los Angeles when I was eight, in 1975. Summer mornings I ran through my apartment door into the smoggy, pink haze to catch the pick-up van out front. But first I had to walk Miss Christie’s dog. Miss Christie lived around the corner in a…

Sister Fighting

I feel bombarded lately by the neon reminders – as if to wake me back up — that a convoluted fight continues for women. Specific reminders, for me at least, have been within my own area of sports and fitness. The fact that the perception of female athletes is still so skewed makes my heart…

Moving Home

Most week days, at twelve twenty-five, I clump down the wooden stairs from my office to the gym floors where there is a big, main room for classes and the smaller Tall Room. Lunchtime is my workout time. The majority of the week, I play with other coaches and members in the midday class in…

Ancient Lessons in Coupledom

I love the story about how Julio and I met. It’s romantic and destined, but if I’m going to tell a story about what keeps a long-term marriage thriving, it would be the one about how my in-laws’ 30+ year marriage almost came to an end. Their experience, and our experience because of it sum…

Twenty Years Before

Maya was born at a naval hospital on a Thursday, my favorite day of the week. At the beginning of labor, when the regular contractions started, I envisioned — without any predetermination or forethought — the ocean’s tide coming in and as the contraction faded, the tide shrank back to the sea. The tide simply…

Wrangling Tornadoes

Maya leaves for college on Thursday. And I’m getting sentimental. I know what I’m feeling has been felt since the first kid left a cave, but I thought I’d share an essay I wrote almost 11 years ago when Maya was 11 and Mina was 6. It’s a nod to those times when they were…