I had the honor of being interviewed for VegetarianBodybuilding.com. I got the opportunity to answer questions that meant something to me, especially one regarding feminism and bikini bodybuilding. You can check out the full interview HERE. Here’s one of the questions/answers:
Q: What unpopular opinions do you hold?
“Currently, I’m exploring the contrast of how my feminism works within the world of bikini bodybuilding. I’ve had a lot of inner conflict about it, honestly, and had some pushback during my last competition, like what I was doing was antifeminist.”
I was taken aback, frankly, and suddenly, I felt embarrassed that I had enjoyed it all so much.
Last year, I decided not to compete again. Yet, I continued to think about it every day. I missed the training. I missed the dedication. I missed how invincible I felt from lifting that much.
I missed working toward a muscular and athletic aesthetic even though I was still conflicted about the pageantry of the actual competitions and the subjectiveness of judging.
“Why was I so into a sport that is based on aesthetics instead of performance? I’m still not sure.”
Getting on stage – with the tan and the heels and the hair and the makeup and the harder-than-it-looks posing – is only a fraction of the whole process, and as odd as that felt at times, I dug the glamour aspects, too. Then I thought, fuck it. Eff anyone who has something to say.
Deep down, it felt counter-intuitive to stop doing something that I thought about daily. The reality too is that my bikini comp journey inspired more women to pick up a weight than me preaching hard about the beneficial endocrine response.
Lastly, I realized, like anything else, my decisions and my feminism are not up for debate. I do what I like. Anyway, it’s been interesting sorting through all these complicated issues that have come up during the process, and I look forward to writing more in-depth about it in 2016.